Aviation Jokes for Laughs

  • Both Optimists and Pessimists contribute to the society. The Optimist invents the Aeroplane, the Pessimist the Parachute – George Bernard Shaw
  • The scientific theory I like best is that the rings of Saturn are composed entirely of lost airline luggage – Mark Russell
  • I’ve flown every seat on this airplane, can someone tell me why the other two are always occupied by idiots? – Don Taylor
  • I never liked riding in helicopters because there’s a fair probability that the bottom part will get going around as fast as the top part – Lt. Col. John Wittenborn, USAFR
  • This time up in the Himalayas where we had been stranded for days. Each day we would head down to the airfield only to be told the plane could not take off. Finally on a day the weather was slightly better the chief of police informed us as follows: The allocated pilot for today is the best pilot in Nepal, don’t worry, he will take the risk – Tim Stuart, Great Aviation Quotes reader
  • If God had meant man to fly, He would never have given us the steam railway locomotive – A Great Aviation Quotes reader’s late Great Aunt
  • United hired gentlemen with the expectation of training them to become pilots, Northwest hired pilots hoping to train them to become gentlemen. To date, despite their best efforts, neither carrier can be considered successful – Ed Thompson
  • If helicopters are so safe, how come there are no vintage/classic helicopter fly-ins? – Anon